Change up...

...These are the lyrics to my favorite song. Ever. Of all time.

Pushit (live) by Tool

Saw that gap again today,
While you were begging me to stay.
Take care not to make me enter.
If I do we both may disappear.
If I do we both may disappear.

Saw that gap again today,
While you were begging me to stay,
Managed to push myself away,
You as well my dear,
And you as well.
Pushed you away my dear.
Pushed you away.
Pushed you away.
Pushed you away my dear.

I will choke until I swallow,
Choke this infant here before me.
What are you but my reflection?
Who am I to judge or strike you down?
Who am I to judge or strike you down?

But you're pushing,
And I'm shoving you,
And you're pushing me,
And I'm shoving you.

Rest your trigger on my finger.
Bang my head upon the fault line.
Better take care not to make me enter.
If I do we both may disappear.
If I do we both may disappear.

But you're pushing,
And I'm shoving you,
And I'm pushing me,
And I'm shoving you.

Still love me,
You still love me,
You still love me,
You still love me,
I'm pushing and we're shoving,
And you're pushing and I'm shoving,
And you still love me.
You still love me.
You still love me.
You still love me.
You're pushing and we're shoving,
And I'm pushing and your shoving me.

And I'm slipping back into,
The gap again.
I feel alive when you touch me.
I feel alive when you hold me,
Down.

Slipping back into,
Slipping back into.

I am somewhere I don't wanna be.
Put me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Push me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see,
Never wanna see that place again.

Saw the gap again today,
While you were begging me to stay,
Managed to push myself away,
And you as well my dear.

If when I say I might fade like a sigh if I stay,
You minimize my movement anyway,
I must persuade you another way.

Pushing and
Shoving.
Pushing and
Shoving.
Pushing me.

There's no love in fear.

Staring down the hole again,
Hands upon my back again,
Survival is my only friend,
Terrified of what may come.

Remember I will always love you,
As I claw your fucking throat away.
It will end no other way.
It will end no other way.

~Nick

Seems a bit backwards...

...don't it? I mean, I spent my Sunday night reading history, catching up on current events, listening to music, and working out. And I'm not in school. In school, I would have spent my Sunday night doing absolutely nothing of importance or anything productive in particular, because, hell, the entire week is going to be full of that. I don't know, just seems that my priorities got switched around. And I feel pretty swell about doing things that I love doing and not having them seem like a fucking chore. So, yeah, that's pretty cool, right? Right.

Also, if anyone is paying attention, this is two posts within a week (however short they might be). It must be a goddamn miracle.

~Nick

Horrible person...

That's what I am. Not that I truly believe that many people are consistently checking this blog to see if I've posted anything. Although, my sister just created one and that reminded me that, surprise surprise, I also am a blogger! A failure of one, but a blogger nonetheless. Apologies to those who DO read this. The end of my summer has consisted of many hours of work and dropping the ball on my life plans...in general. Which, surprisingly, I'm not kicking myself too much over not signing enlistment papers yet since I am fairly content with life as it is now, with a routine and all. And I still don't have enough money saved yet to put even a decent-sized dent in my college debt. Do you see what you do to us, America? Because of you and your unreasonably high expectations of younger generations, you have doomed us to a life of semi-poverty with only a fancy piece of paper, declaring that we are good and smart enough for you, to comfort us. Bravo, society.

Anyways, today is a short post (which most of mine seem to have that distinction). Now that summer is over and I have more time on my hands because my friends have totally abandoned me and given me some sort of complex or mental disorder over it *deep breath* I will be updating this again. I will attempt to update weekly. And since I'm no longer in school but still actively ponder the goings-on of the world, and of life, I have time for essay writing. Although, this time I can be much more opinionated because, hell, I'll only be judged for it, not graded. Think about it, if judgment equaled your grade, technically, we'd all be failing. And then no one would get anywhere because we couldn't pass the kindergarten of life. No gold stars for you, humanity. You get a bronze star because YOU SUCK AT LIFE.

Enjoy your weekend.

~Nick

Think For Yourself, Question Authority...

Tool in concert > Tool on iTunes.

Just sayin'.

~Nick

Ah, fuckberries...

Forgot about this. I'm pretty sure most other people have as well. Not to worry, I shall update with new things and improved stuff. I'm using the words "things" and "stuff" simply because my high school English teachers taught me to never use those words. Ever.

New job has been started, so the update may take a week or so, but like I said, NOT TO WORRY. Everyone on the internet worries too much.

Till yonder...day.

~Nick

The Triumphant Return

I am currently sitting in my incredibly cluttered room in the basement of my house. I woke up to a gray sky and windy...winds. I was unable to accomplish my goal of mowing the lawn yesterday, so it definitely needed to be done today. I was not aware that it had rained overnight/this morning, so the grass was pretty damp. If you have ever mowed a lawn, you know that wet grass means lots of stops and dumping the grass. Normally, I'd be frustrated but frankly, I'm just glad to be home and able to be outside doing work, even though it's a shitty day outside.

In addition, I've been sick the last few days, but I'm feeling better now. This cold seems to happen every time I come back from Hawaii. I'm guessing that it's just the climate difference. Or the very unclean planes that I fly on. Or my allergies finally having a chance to prove their worth, since there's not much on the islands that disturbs me.

It's been great seeing friends again. Facebook and Skype don't stand a chance when it comes to hanging out and going places and doing things (despite what the younger generations may think). I think this summer will turn out to be just about perfect. If things keep going like this, I'll be very thankful and appreciative.

Anyways, I should probably unpack and put everything away since I'm not going back to Hawaii, but I did just borrow a game that I've been dying to play, so packing is on the backburner for now.

Aloha from Minnesota,

~Nick

Don't Be That Guy

So, I check out of my room in a few hours. Flight leaves 12 hours later, which is FANTASTIC, I can assure you. BE ASSURED!!! I will hopefully have internet at both airports, so I will be on Facebook and Skype talking to people to pass the time. Be there or be...not cool?

Anyways, summer's is next on the line-up. Working outside, finding a job, going fishing, hanging out with friends. Should be time well-spent before I find myself having no free time for a while (again).

If you are a White Bearian and we are friends, I will be home Monday afternoon. Which means we should hang out in the following two weeks.

Aloha,

~Nick